so i herd u liek mudkipz: Affordances and Constraints

 

'so i herd u liek mudkipz' has been a popular internet meme since early 2005. The user has taken the meme and, while using an image of a mudkip, has changed the text font and style to that of old time English. This particular meme was around before most social networking sites and so it would've been mostly found of internet forums like this one here. This particular meme would appeal to fans of the popular game and anime series 'Pokemon' and thus means that it already has a pre-created fanbase surrounding the meme which would help the spread of it around the internet and into many internet forums and YouTube spoof videos which hit around a million views each. By changing the noun mudkips to 'kips of the mud' it adds a humours edge to the meme and in turn also cements that it is a ye-olde-english parody of the popular phrase. An affordance is that this image is easy to spread around and the meme itself is easily adaptable and can be put into any form of internet communication (eg Facebook, Twitter, comment section, YouTube). But, a constraint it that many people might not get this meme if they are not a fan of 'Pokemon'.

Research into the Princess phone

The Princess phone went into production in 1959 by the supply arm, Bell System. They wanted to create something which the customer wanted and was both decoration and a great utility. 
Despite complaints about the prototype being unbalance and sliding whenever someone tried to dial, Bell Labs decided to disregard the complaints and manufacture it anyway. Bell Labs lost millions of dollars as a counter weight had to be installed after purchasers complained. 
The original colours of the phone was any generic phone colour (white, pink, light beige, light blue and turquoise) but black which was made available in 1963 (as well as green, yellow and grey). 
The Princess phone got a very bad reputation for many reasons, the main reason though was the fact that it was very easy to knock the headset off the cradle; but, despite its flaws it still has one of the most beloved telephone designs of all time

Transcript Analysis

There is a 6 second long pause in the transcript. This is between 'like' and a description of a hook. Based on the long pause we can assume that the speaker was looking at the hook and was trying to find the best way to describe it. With added context about what is actually happening we can assume that the first speaker is looking at the picture while the second speaker is probably trying to complete the last task given to them. The 6 seconds appear after the word 'like' which is typically use as as filler in today's society and so by having the pause after the filler clearly shows some level of thought supporting the idea that the speaker is trying to think of an appropriate way of describing the hook. 

The use of unconventional pronunciation of ''bout' is another example of the way language has adapted in today's modern society just like the use of 'like' as a filler. The speaker says ''bout' in stead of 'about' which shows how language is normally spoken differently to how it is wrote, and by shortening 'about' it give a casual register. The use of ''bout' could also be because of an accent and with context, we know that this was spoken in Bristol so this is highly probable.

Abstract Passion - A Mini Saga

Crimson sheets soaked in lust, blackened thoughts with questionable memories.
"What happened?"
Painful wrists hoisted body up.
The sun arrives, destroying the dark. Harsh light irritates the eyes.
A stretch to used muscles and a heart singing with youth.
The sheets were pulled back
Thunk!
A head to the floor.

Gods Among Us #1: DOWNEY JR.

  

Gods Among Us #1: DOWNEY JR. [over a large picture of Robert Downey Jr.]

　

Rising up from the land to become a god; watch out Icarus. Robert Downey Jr.: a god among men. By Georgia Gould Bishton.

　

If you ever go onto Mr Downey’s Twitter you will find that his bio is simply, “You know who I am” and honestly, he could not be more accurate. If you don’t know who he is you have been living under a sad and depraved rock for the past 6 years. After 3 drug arrests over 2 years, Downey shows the world that he still has it creating a career made out of iron and inspiring the generations to come.

　

In 2008 this ‘fine wine’ was cast as Marvel’s Iron Man. Now I don’t know about you, but have you ever been cast as a superhero and the original writer liked your performance so much that he changed the characters personality to match your interpretation? No? Didn’t think you did. This man set the bar impossibly high for all actors after him and he didn’t even try. After the colossal success of Iron Man, Downey was cast in 2 sequels as well as Avengers and a sequel to that on top. Spitting out the great movies like Paul W.S. Anderson spits out bad ones; Downey tops the Forbes list of highest paid actors, and rightly so.

　

Robert Downey Jr. is praised by fans across his roles by not just playing his characters, but bringing them to life. In the world of talent Downey has it in spades and even Ben Stiller said, “In the realm where box office is irrelevant and talent is king, the realm that actually means something, he has always ruled”. Not only is he an amazing actor but he’s also incredibly attractive. Coming onto 50 he can single handed make a group of weak kneed fans fall and (like a gentlemen) help them back up. If scientist were trying to genetically manipulate a perfect human being they might have just done it with our very Adonis and let him off into the world to make girls (and boys) cry with want.

(If you do not believe me that he is ungodly attractive then look at the picture above and believe.)

Now, I know what you're thinking, how can this man possibly be this amazing? I know, I feel the same way too. Even with his history Robert Downey Jr. still managed to create a successful career and even bounced away from the title of 'that one guy that played Charlie Chaplin'. Four decades in the business and still growing strong while leaving a path of sass and happiness in his wake.

Currently, Mr Downey Jr is mostly known for his role in the Iron Man series, Avengers and The Incredible Hulk. Playing a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist isn't easy but RDJ takes it in his stride and enjoys the role a little more than the average actor. While Iron Man is his most successful role, it isn't his only role. The Singing Detective, Kiss Kiss Bang Band, Gothika (where he met his current wife, Susan Downey), Tropic Thunder and Sherlock Holmes just to add a few to his repertoire. He's a man of many talents that brings humour and life to all of the characters he plays as well as a few ad libs here and there.

Talented, funny and good looking. What more could you want? How about a great dad! RDJ has 2 children and another one on the way over 2 marriages. He's been quoted by his wife about being a great diaper changer as well (a job none of us wish to do). His own dad was a huge part of his life being an inspiration as an actor as well as being an 'underground' film-maker and landing Robert Downey Jr.'s first role in the acting biz as a puppy in Pound.

Brits: The scariest thing about this month is the weather.

Halloween is in 28 days, Christmas is in 83 and my mother's rocking a summer dress.

Georgia Gould Bishton 
The Guardian, Friday 3rd October 2014

A casual wake up routine of having a wash, eating breakfast and getting dressed comes crashing down with the iPhone weather app. Every morning I look at that double-crossing app to determine wether it is jacket day or not and ever since the first day of autumn, I have decided to screw the app and just sling a shirt over whatever I am wearing.  It's not a choice I wish to make, but it is one I must if I want to keep up with the incomprehensible elements. 

In the morning on my 40 minute walk, it's freezing my nuts off. On my way back my chestnuts are roasting. The weather is as temperamental as my alarm which doesn't go off and leaves me running late (coincidentally so does the weather as it makes me spend more time choosing what shirt to wear out of the three I own). I am generally not one to complain about the weather as I am never outside to either enjoy it or show disdain of it but now I am forced to be out in it for a minimum of two times a day and so I feel like I am granted the famous British strop. 

As someone who enjoys carrying around as little as she possibly can, I feel burdened by the load the weather puts on my luggage. A knitted hat, fingerless gloves, sunglasses and deodorant are now essentials with my tackle. Annoying. 

The weather has taken over my life and has left me a confused heap on the ground muttering, '13 degrees celsius' in a fort of blankets with all the windows open and 'Cool Runnings' playing in the background (ironically of course). I just wish that winter would get here so I can wear my tacky Christmas jumper, drink hot chocolate and not be bombarded with intense heat. 

Nothing better than Perfection

[A man steps outside of a crowded hall. He's wearing a suit, looks in his mid-thirties and is carrying a glass of champagne. He loosens his tie slightly.]

26 years. Watched her grow and hurt. Witnessed her learn and regret. Each time I was there to catch her when she ultimately fell but, she's strong. Shakes herself off and tries again or finds a different solution. The pride of the family which she fought so hard to keep intact. 

[A female laughter can be heard in the distance]

A least she's found a nice guy, that Daniel's a decent lad. Stable job and good intentions what more could a brother ask for. 

Maybe a better night for her...

[He takes off his suit jacket and hangs it over his shoulder]

The ceremony couldn't have been more perfect. Anything for her. Perfect white and crystal clear skies, almost as if the gods themselves knew that she deserved only the best. They recited their vows, certain people cried (not naming names) and everyone got along and everyone was happy. I had to give her away of course but, I'm sure dad would've if given the chance. Aunty Mary and Uncle Cliff were civil at least and Mum and Nan actually said hello to one another but, there was still tension.

You could feel it in the air ready to be sliced for appetisers, the sweet taste of rumours and broken trust. Bitter on the tongue. I know she didn't mind, they were all together for her big day and that brought the biggest smile to bless her face but I was disappointed. Disappointed in those that call themselves family and couldn't put their differences aside for her, after everything she done and every tumble she made to keep them on level grounds and they couldn't repay her with one night. One goddamn night. 

[He breathes heavily before taking another sip of his drink]

Everything needed to be perfect. 

The flowers were in bloom. The dress was divine. We all stood upon her arrival. 

The conversation had wilted. The tension was ablaze. I was picking up the pieces before she arrived. 

While the newly weds were taking pictures I was attempting to create some order. Keep him away from her, drag them from the bar, steer the conversation away from the Christmas party. A mad dash for perfection. 

It was like there was a missing piece and she was the component needed to finish the puzzle. Only, she was not only a puzzle piece, but any piece with a flat edge or a corner. 

The most valuable pieces. 

When she entered it was as if everything I worked for was abolished as her air alone brought tranquility. Grace, elegance and perfection. Just feeling the pressure dissipate from the room allowed me to calm slightly and actually enjoy a drink.

There was laughs, smiles and love. Not family love, no never that here. But a love for her and her happiness and that's all I could ever hope for. As long as she didn't recognise the 'wine' stain down Mother's dress or Uncle Cliff leaving early despite being stone cold sober. As long as she didn't notice and continue to enjoy her night then everything would be fine.

But of course she noticed, unfortunately she's...

Perfect.

[He re-enters the building after fixing his tie and slipping the jacket back on. An empty champagne glass is left on the floor after he downs the rest of it in one go.]

The art of the Georgia

Date of autopsy: April 6th 2014

Name of patient: Georgia Mae Gould Bishton

Date of birth of patient: 23/02/1998

Date of death: April 1st 2014

Height: 5'6"

Weight: Couldn't care less

Hair colour: Probably blonde

Eye colour: Blue

Age: 16

Clothing: 

1. Printed t-shirt with the scent of Red Bull on it

2. Chequered shirt

3. Jeans stained with coffee

4. Worn Legend of Zelda belt

5. Patterned socks

6. Boots

7. Metal necklace

External examination:

Tattoo found on right shoulder of 3 butterflies and burns on arms which have been matched to baking tins. Scar found on right eyebrow. Hair has been dyed multiple times but is assumed to be naturally blonde. Finger nails to be painted multiple colours and toe nails being similar. Also found to have drooped eyes possibly linked to her lack of sleep.

X-Ray:

Nothing unusual found.

History:

Scar on eyebrow is said to be from an accident with a metal pole at a young age by family accounts. Eyes to be slightly blurred from excessive watching of YouTube videos and faulty thumb muscles from Peggle 2.

Cause of death: Exhaustion.

Other notes:

Traces of soap found in mouth, possibly been washed with it due to the large quantity found. According to every single person who has ever known her she is emotionally and socially inept so outside influences can be ruled out. Also known to make terrible jokes.

Summary: 

This 16 year old female died of exhaustion after countless hours on the internet and even more hours lying in her bed trying to get to sleep.

... Also suspected to be a wizard.

My Idiolect...

Growing up in Kingswood, I naturally have the Somerset accent that plagued the generations before me. The hatred of pronouncing the letter 't' shining brightly through.

Moving down to Weston-super-Mare in 2007, my accent has deteriorated but its still there to the point I gained the nickname 'Somerset' in secondary school.

Most of my vocabulary I have picked up over time mainly started of with me saying it ironically as a joke and now I can't stop. This has been a case with 'yo', 'wazzup', 'yolo' and 'swag' and I mentally kick myself whenever I say them.

Like most teenagers, my speech is littered with explicit language but I personally take it a bit too far by throwing them around as adjectives and a personal love for using 'as dicks' for accentuating words.

I have a natural lisp so, in combination with the accent (and that I talk at mach speed), most people find it difficult to understand what I'm saying. On top of that, I have a habit of using as few words as possible with many contractions and acronyms. You could say I'm a sadistic towards people listening.

The only real way to summarise my idiolect is as a fast paced mess, that's generally offensive and that I hate more than you.