Nothing better than Perfection

[A man steps outside of a crowded hall. He's wearing a suit, looks in his mid-thirties and is carrying a glass of champagne. He loosens his tie slightly.]

26 years. Watched her grow and hurt. Witnessed her learn and regret. Each time I was there to catch her when she ultimately fell but, she's strong. Shakes herself off and tries again or finds a different solution. The pride of the family which she fought so hard to keep intact. 

[A female laughter can be heard in the distance]

A least she's found a nice guy, that Daniel's a decent lad. Stable job and good intentions what more could a brother ask for. 

Maybe a better night for her...

[He takes off his suit jacket and hangs it over his shoulder]

The ceremony couldn't have been more perfect. Anything for her. Perfect white and crystal clear skies, almost as if the gods themselves knew that she deserved only the best. They recited their vows, certain people cried (not naming names) and everyone got along and everyone was happy. I had to give her away of course but, I'm sure dad would've if given the chance. Aunty Mary and Uncle Cliff were civil at least and Mum and Nan actually said hello to one another but, there was still tension.

You could feel it in the air ready to be sliced for appetisers, the sweet taste of rumours and broken trust. Bitter on the tongue. I know she didn't mind, they were all together for her big day and that brought the biggest smile to bless her face but I was disappointed. Disappointed in those that call themselves family and couldn't put their differences aside for her, after everything she done and every tumble she made to keep them on level grounds and they couldn't repay her with one night. One goddamn night. 

[He breathes heavily before taking another sip of his drink]

Everything needed to be perfect. 

The flowers were in bloom. The dress was divine. We all stood upon her arrival. 

The conversation had wilted. The tension was ablaze. I was picking up the pieces before she arrived. 

While the newly weds were taking pictures I was attempting to create some order. Keep him away from her, drag them from the bar, steer the conversation away from the Christmas party. A mad dash for perfection. 

It was like there was a missing piece and she was the component needed to finish the puzzle. Only, she was not only a puzzle piece, but any piece with a flat edge or a corner. 

The most valuable pieces. 

When she entered it was as if everything I worked for was abolished as her air alone brought tranquility. Grace, elegance and perfection. Just feeling the pressure dissipate from the room allowed me to calm slightly and actually enjoy a drink.

There was laughs, smiles and love. Not family love, no never that here. But a love for her and her happiness and that's all I could ever hope for. As long as she didn't recognise the 'wine' stain down Mother's dress or Uncle Cliff leaving early despite being stone cold sober. As long as she didn't notice and continue to enjoy her night then everything would be fine.

But of course she noticed, unfortunately she's...

Perfect.

[He re-enters the building after fixing his tie and slipping the jacket back on. An empty champagne glass is left on the floor after he downs the rest of it in one go.]

The art of the Georgia

Date of autopsy: April 6th 2014

Name of patient: Georgia Mae Gould Bishton

Date of birth of patient: 23/02/1998

Date of death: April 1st 2014

Height: 5'6"

Weight: Couldn't care less

Hair colour: Probably blonde

Eye colour: Blue

Age: 16

Clothing: 

1. Printed t-shirt with the scent of Red Bull on it

2. Chequered shirt

3. Jeans stained with coffee

4. Worn Legend of Zelda belt

5. Patterned socks

6. Boots

7. Metal necklace

External examination:

Tattoo found on right shoulder of 3 butterflies and burns on arms which have been matched to baking tins. Scar found on right eyebrow. Hair has been dyed multiple times but is assumed to be naturally blonde. Finger nails to be painted multiple colours and toe nails being similar. Also found to have drooped eyes possibly linked to her lack of sleep.

X-Ray:

Nothing unusual found.

History:

Scar on eyebrow is said to be from an accident with a metal pole at a young age by family accounts. Eyes to be slightly blurred from excessive watching of YouTube videos and faulty thumb muscles from Peggle 2.

Cause of death: Exhaustion.

Other notes:

Traces of soap found in mouth, possibly been washed with it due to the large quantity found. According to every single person who has ever known her she is emotionally and socially inept so outside influences can be ruled out. Also known to make terrible jokes.

Summary: 

This 16 year old female died of exhaustion after countless hours on the internet and even more hours lying in her bed trying to get to sleep.

... Also suspected to be a wizard.

My Idiolect...

Growing up in Kingswood, I naturally have the Somerset accent that plagued the generations before me. The hatred of pronouncing the letter 't' shining brightly through.

Moving down to Weston-super-Mare in 2007, my accent has deteriorated but its still there to the point I gained the nickname 'Somerset' in secondary school.

Most of my vocabulary I have picked up over time mainly started of with me saying it ironically as a joke and now I can't stop. This has been a case with 'yo', 'wazzup', 'yolo' and 'swag' and I mentally kick myself whenever I say them.

Like most teenagers, my speech is littered with explicit language but I personally take it a bit too far by throwing them around as adjectives and a personal love for using 'as dicks' for accentuating words.

I have a natural lisp so, in combination with the accent (and that I talk at mach speed), most people find it difficult to understand what I'm saying. On top of that, I have a habit of using as few words as possible with many contractions and acronyms. You could say I'm a sadistic towards people listening.

The only real way to summarise my idiolect is as a fast paced mess, that's generally offensive and that I hate more than you.